An unconditional note:

It would have been 12 years ago today that this world started and that one was gone forever.

“She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes…”

That was the song that we used to sing when running around our front yard like a couple of dorks while waiting for the school bus. I’m not sure how ‘often’ this particular thing happened because memories can often play tricks on you. Either we did this all the time or the memory of it recurred frequently.

Unconditional love. It’s an ongoing journey to comprehend such a boundless concept but she’s the one who paved the way for me. There is nothing as powerful or as transcending as a mother’s love. Through time, that love is still there, as it always is. Past, present, and future don’t seem to apply in the same way as they do to most everything else. That sort of love somehow stays just as strong and ever present regardless of how long it’s been since she was ‘with’ us.

In the end, it seems that what we really become is the love that we gave during the time we had with each other. And, in that sense, our mom is still present because we can never stop feeling that love. The love we received from her, the love we gave to her, and the love that we wish she could still receive.

If I had the chance to, I wish I could tell my mom that I forgive her completely for any and every time that she was less than her best self. I wish that I would have been able to somehow tell her that I love her completely and unconditionally. The good times along with the less-than-good times, the lovely sides with the ugly sides, and all of the joy and the sadness combined.

The truth is, I don’t believe that I love my mom because of who she was…

I love my mom because of how she loved, and I love her the same way that she loved — unconditionally.